So is it for real this time?

Things have been going about as well as they usually do, but I feel as if the trend is in a positive direction.

For example, I’ve been switching a lot but each time someone has been out for a longer time, and I actually remember some of it. Seems Michelle had an extended conversation with my husband that didn’t involve screaming or cursing (a minor miracle).

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and making plans in regard to actually doing something with my life on a long term basis.

You see, I’ve come to the conclusion that for most of my life, I’ve been a fairly crappy unreliable person, especially in the past 15 years — through no real fault of my own, but the facts are the facts.

The problem with being a crappy unreliable person for most of your life (for whatever reason) is that when you begin to change and actual do something with your life that is more permanent, people don’t believe you.

Oh, yeah, they say, that’s cool. But what they’re thinking (and you can read it on their faces) is: okay now how many times have I heard that this new thing will be awesome? Six months from now she won’t even remember she told me about this.

Which I accept. But it does make it difficult to get any traction or support around it.

But it’s all cool. As far as they know, I’ll let them down again, like I did all the times before. I don’t know that I would trust me either.

The proof, they say, is in the pudding.