Posted by: ourlifewithmpd | June 21, 2014

What if all the good goes away?

The fear of losing success: what if it all goes away?

I sat with this a while, because it’s been a fear of mine lately. That it will prove what I was constantly told as a child, that I destroy whatever I touch and that no one cares about me, likes me, or wants to be around me, because no matter what I do I will never be good enough.

It’s a daily struggle.

The worst case scenario? That I’ll be abandoned and backstabbed by everyone yet again, I will be unable to make my businesses successful, I’ll have to sell them all to get out of debt, and when my husband retires we’ll be that much poorer because of my failure. But the world will not end. My world would not even end. I have been poor before and I can do that again. My children would survive.

I have to go back to the people who do seem to like me, who have trusted me with their dreams, who have offered support, who have purchased products that I have made or that I sell. The things I have done right. The successes I have had.

Otherwise it would be going back to a dark place I don’t ever want to be again, instead of moving towards getting well.

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