Posted by: ourlifewithmpd | April 24, 2010

Dreams

I noticed that one of the search terms people use to get here is “mpd/did dreams”. So I thought I might talk about dreams for a bit.

Some people have very vivid nightmares about the abuse, sort of like what people with PTSD go through. I like to think of MPD/DID  as PTSD on steroids, because you don’t have just one person with PTSD, you have a lot of them with PTSD, all in one body.

In any case, not everyone with MPD/DID has nightmares, so if you don’t that’s not anything to worry about. Also, just because you dream that something happened doesn’t make it true. It may be that the people in your dream did something else, or it may be that the event you dreamed of happened but with different people involved. Or it might be that the people and events are symbolic of something else, perhaps something even deeper than what you dreamed.

I think of dreams as clues to what’s going on inside you more than solid evidence of anything that happened outside you. I know lots of people worry about their dreams and what they might mean, but I think personally that there are better things to worry about.

So what do I do with my dreams? I mostly think about what they could mean, just like everyone else — not to the point of worrying about them, but like I said, just clues.

For example, when I was small (about ten or so) I had a recurring dream that I was in a black and white world with machines that went so high they almost blocked out the sky, grinding forward with loud terrible noises. In their path was one delicate flower, which was in color. I always woke up before the machines destroyed the flower, heart pounding with fear for it.

I’m sure you can imagine lots of things that this dream could mean. I have an idea but I won’t go into it here. But looking back, charting how my dreams changed over time and about when they did so, I got a lot of insights into my progress.

So write them down if you like (and if it’s safe to). See how they change over time. Use them to get to the truth.

Your dreams are part of you, just as your alters are. Don’t be afraid of them.

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